Heya loves! I’m here trying to keep up with my promise on this every Tuesday thing… 🙂 I came from a 12 hour shift, and I am officially 23 hours awake as of now.
I just finished watching “Miss Americana” in Netflix. It is a documentary of my best-friend Taylor Swift. 🙂 🙂 My husband once said that Taylor Swift is my best friend. That’s his way of saying that she is one of my favorites 🙂 🙂 I only have few favorites – Taylor Swift, Documentaries, Ice Cream and someone scratching my back. Oh I forgot sleeping too!
I can listen to her songs over and over again without getting tired of them. I grew up listening to her songs. I’m older than her by 3 years, and that may be the reason why her songs became my official soundtracks. She pours her sadness, happiness, anger in her songs and as a teenager way back then, I was like – yeah she’s nailing it. We have the same sentiments – of course we are on the same age group.
It is a delight watching her evolve, succeed, make songs, and make a stand on what she really believes in.
In the beginning of the documentary she mentioned that getting others approval is her happiness. Leading her to be the “good girl” that everybody wants her to be. Saying that makes her more human and relatable.
Growing up, I don’t think people’s approval made me happy. Looks like I am just too scared to disappoint people and ending up hating me. Maybe that’s why I tried to be too nice. When I was a child that’s what I believe in, that all people are too scared to look bad. I was living in my small world thinking that all people are like me.
However, just like Taylor Swift, I came to realize along the way that it is okay not to be the “good girl”. That it is okay to express and do what you really believe in. It is still hard for me to be me most of the time. There are instances that when I tried to be real, and a little rough on the edges kind of person, people get easily mad at me. That feeling makes me feel so guilty. Some people are really good at making you feel that you are the bad person. I learned to stay away from these kind of people.
Is it normal to be in her early 30s and still not comfortable expressing herself with the fear of getting rejected or hated? Can you help me out here? 🙂