iceberg rose

Do you remember these words from Fleetwood Mac’s song “Landslide”?

“Well, I’ve been ‘fraid of changin’
‘Cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
And I’m gettin’ older, too”

– Fleetwood Mac (Landslide)

Are you also afraid of changes? Are you terrified? Are you like me and the other 7.7 billion homo sapiens out there?

Seems like the most constant thing in our life are changes. But why it is sooo terrifying? You know it’s for the best, but we are like always afraid of the unknown. Are we built this way? Or it is just me?

As what I’ve mentioned in my previous post, that right now I’m going through some drastic changes . I’ve done this before, that’s why I feel so odd that I am “scared” this time. I know I will get used to it whether I like it or not.

All of us have been through huge changes in our lives. All of us have left our comfort zones more than once or twice. All of us took a leap of faith at some point in our lives. All of us experienced loss and grief. We know we can let go. We know we can say goodbye. We know we are brave.

….BUT we still have this idea that “we built our life around them”, and probably that what make changes so painful – the people, the memories, the fun, the fights, the laughter, and the loss time. πŸ™‚


35 thoughts on “Changin’

  1. Huguette

    I couldn’t open the song, it’s unavailable but I can relate to this post, to each and every word! Yes we are so afraid of change, to leave our comfort zone and then suddenly the children are getting older and so we are!
    I’m having a struggle now despite that I know all the words of we should take the chances and step out of the comfort zone and all this, but it still terrifying
    I wish you the best in your life changes and hope they will turn out to be great changes and good start in your life πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. wifeblah

      Aaw try this one dixie chicks version. It’s a very beautiful song πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

      I know Huguette making decisions that will cause big life changes is VERY VERY hard. It’s like getting married, you know that once you commit it’s going to be forever. πŸ™‚ But at the end of the day, you are the author of your own story. You know in your gut when to jump off the cliff. You know when to hold off on things. No matter what happen I am wishing you well as always!! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Huguette

        Beautiful song thank you for sharing the link 😊
        You are very right, we are the author of our own story and appreciate your kind wishes so much πŸ™πŸ»πŸ˜Š

        Liked by 1 person

  2. IanC555

    Not too too long ago, I was pretty distressed about my professional relationships; seeming always in conflict because I have this drive to be a certain way, and my conflicts were with people who wanted me to be a way I simply am not (Nor do I want to be different…cut out huge parts of my identity that help me be better…live in good conscious).

    Then this thought came to me…”Why are you always worried about this. IT’S NOT NEW! You should be used to this by now.” And all of a sudden…I was used to it! LOL…but it did not mean I was less anxious about it. I still struggle, but I struggle less because I realized…I am advocating for myself and what I value most. It finally got normalized…and took years and years to get to this point.

    You are way ahead of me M’dear, and I am so glad you are coming to this sooner rather than later.

    It’s still hard…it will always be hard, but not as hard as it is now.

    Good! You are so far ahead of the pack, and I am so pleased for you.

    Keep up. Chin up…and keep being the strong person you are (though it might not feel like it…from the outside, it looks like you are quite strong, and I have faith in you)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. wifeblah

      Hi Ian, thank you so much for giving me the confidence. I made a decision. After long months of thinking, now it is coming, I am kinda scared a little bit.

      I am resigning on my facility, probably filing my resignation on Monday. I applied to a job to another hospital. The catch is here, I have to drive 40 minutes to my new hospital. The good thing is it is not highway and no traffic anytime of the day. 30 miles drive. The offer is a little bit more like 7% from my pay now. I can’t get a huge raise because I only have 4 years of experience. Are you familiar with the nursing grid salary for floor nurses? I tried to negotiate with the offer but the HR said they follow a certain nursing grid base on years of experience. I decided to move because in 6 months as long as I get all the requirements for advancement I can raise my salary 10% more. Which in my existing facility to get that 10% amount of money I need to work for it for 7 years. Do you think it is worth the drive? Thank yo Ian.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. IanC555

        Wow! Congratulations M’Dear. I KNOW! That is a hard decision! And it also sounds like you have weighed the the benefits.

        I left a job I had a lot of seniority at, and I took a job where they paid according to experience. I had been a nurse for 23 years at that point, so I topped out their pay scale at $24 dollars an hour ($4,250.00 per month). Now, I had been making $32.00 per hour at my previous job, but the new job had a state pension and a strong union (Unions are a mixed bag to me…I see their value, but they also cost money…and they can be highly political which I DO NOT value).

        All in all, it was a fairly good trade off…was a lateral move for me.

        So, Yes…compensation by experience is common when considering a new job and compensation.

        But you are in an acute care setting, and that is a fairly prestigious field. They usually have patient staff ratio limits. Here I believe it is 7:2 for acute care, and like…12:1 for sub-acute (Step down…depending upon the acuity and specialty). Skill nursing (God help them)…it can be something like up to 30:1.

        In home hospice, I drive 25 miles to the office and then another 20-50 miles through the course of the day, and then back home. When I worked for the prison, I drove 37 miles one way to the prison every day, so 74 miles a day…terrible traffic…like…10 hours a week just driving to and from work (Just over an additional days worth of work just driving). But…it was work, and I knew a nurse once that traveled 100 miles a day 5 days a week to get to and from work. She loved audio books.

        I don’ think you can really make mistakes about choosing to change jobs because the reason you’re doing it is real.

        I think it’s especially ok to change jobs while you gain that experience. It’s always good to try and get new perspectives gained in different places. Early on it makes you well rounded and more marketable later.

        Had you tired transferring to a different unit or area in the current hospital? With Acute and step down experience, it’s easily translatable into other fields and areas, too.

        I hope this is helpful. Personally I am excited for you because it will be a new adventure in your young career. 7% pay increase and then another 10% in another 6 months…that’s not bad!

        Sounds like you really considered your options.

        CONGRATULATIONS…It’s a hard choice, so you get points for courage!

        Liked by 2 people

      2. wifeblah

        Hi Ian thanks for the response πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ I moved to another hospital by the way. I am from South Florida nurses here are paid low compared with other states πŸ™‚

        I am currently working in IMCU 3:1 ratio, but I am moving to a regular floor 6:1. I had an opportunity to move to ICU, but I decided to move to a different facility on a regular floor. I love critical care, but sometimes stress is too much to handle.

        My drive is going to be 30miles (one way) 3 x a week. The thing is my husband don’t want me be driving especially after work because I work night shift. He works at home, so I think he will still drop and pick me up 3 x a week.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. IanC555

        Ohhhhhhhh….LOL…I get it! 12 hour shift…on the non…Oh Girl…I have almost fallen asleep on my way home in morning traffic quite a few times after working nights at some jobs that were farther away. Luck for me, half of my career was in a city where I could walk to and from work or take a bus. Night shift…Oh man!

        Take care of your self, OK? I admire people who work nights and can do it, but it takes a told on the body over time.

        Love in the Spirit of nursing…

        And 6:1 is a pretty good mix but it can still get nuts and stressful. I hope they have some CNAs to help you out. They really make the difference!

        One time I worked in this skilled AIDS hospice…AIDS patients are REALLY REALLY SICK (and I’m super glad the disease is managed much much better these days. it was 16:1, and there were 3 CNAs on days and PMs and 2 at night. Man! Had there not been CNAs I’d have perished!

        I’m super duper excited for you. IMCU…See? that’s the sorta experience that can get you in anywhere…and It’s super cool that you started out in a highly acute setting. The skies the limit for you, Darlin’! You’re gonna have a great nursing career!

        Liked by 1 person

      4. wifeblah

        Hi Brian, I’m very sorry for the late response. I am processing my resignation and at the same time the application process to the other hospital.

        It’s not easy to work nights, but I really like it. It is quiet. But in my unit in IMCU most of the time nights are non stop. There are nights that you can’t eat, drink or pee. Rarely we have slow nights. Sometimes I can’t understand myself, i hate busy nights but I am loving the Adrenaline rush.

        6:1 can get crazy too, depends on the acuity of the patient. If you’re patients are all stable, then you are stable lol.

        True CNAs are our savior!! But sometimes when you only have 1 CNA in a 40 bed unit, you have to do everything by yourself. 😦

        I am leaving IMCU πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ I am moving to a regular telemetry floor. Most of my co workers are asking me WHY? lol For me nursing is nursing – no matter where I go, no matter what special area I work. Usually nurses expect an IMCU nurse next step is going to ICU or Nurse Practitioner. Me I don’t mind going back to the floor, I still have a lot of things to learn. πŸ™‚

        Thank you so much Brian!! Take care always.


      1. Manjul

        You are welcomeπŸ˜„
        I would surely love to read your answersπŸ™Œ
        Do send me a notification via comments when you will post this nominationπŸŒΌπŸ’πŸ‘

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Liebster Award Nomination #1 – A Barbarian in Gentlemen's Clothing

  4. popsiclesociety

    Yes we all had great changes in our life and we all experienced losses and I guess no matter how many times we did it, the fear will always be there….only that we know from past experiences that we will survive no matter what! Is always difficult to step out of our comfort zone, is always difficult to do any changes but if we really want something, we know that we can do it!
    Wish you that all the changes from your life to bring you closer to your dreams! πŸ€—πŸŒΈ

    Liked by 1 person

    1. wifeblah

      Thank you so much!! So true, fear will always linger. I know, it’s hard to push our boundaries but one day we will wake up and realize that it’s not that bad or not that hard at all. Thank you so much for the wonderful words. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚


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